Welcome!

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The entrance to a home can say a lot about the people living inside. Ours says, “these people don’t own a broom.” Or maybe it’s saying, “you’d better make sure all your vaccinations are up to date.” Either way, come on inside. But don’t bother knocking (and definitely don’t risk ringing the doorbell – that spider looks hungry). You can keep your shoes on, too (remember, we apparently don’t own a broom). Take a look around and have a few laughs because this blog  follows one simple formula:

Me + No Shame = More Entertainment Value For You.

Enjoy!

Burning Desire

img_5595I went hunting for some matches today because I wanted to set something on fire. Relax. I was only going to burn a candle, or Suzy Homemaker in effigy, or something. It had been a long time since I’d gone looking for matches, but for some reason I had a hunch they’d be in the snack cupboard. Read More

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Anatomy of a Houseplant Murder

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Let me start by saying I don’t kill all my houseplants. At least not right away. I swear I had the best of intentions when it came to my latest victims, I mean, houseplant acquisitions. They began their brief and tragic lives in matching planters on my front porch last summer. Having managed to stay alive for several months despite my best lack of effort, I wanted to make sure they didn’t simply get killed off by the first frost. No, to reward them for their tenacity, I decided to prolong their agony and brought them inside the house. Or, as all once-green life forms call it: the place where things go to die. Read More